Hello Young Lovers
by LadySirius32158
Summary: This is a tale of introspection and memories by everyone's favourite werewolf, Remus J. Lupin.


TITLE: Hello, Young Lovers . . . from Remus, with love . . .

AUTHOR: Lady Sirius

PAIRING: RL/SB

RATING: NC17

FEEDBACK: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling

- I only wish that Sirius and Remus were mine, other than in my heart!

DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy

inspiration - Gary Oldman - and to my Remus - Amber - for whose friendship and devotion I shall be everlastingly grateful.

Summary: Inspired by the Rodgers and Hammerstein song, Hello Young Lovers, from the King and I - this is a tale of introspection and memories by everyone's favourite werewolf, Remus J. Lupin.

Hello, Young Lovers. . .

from Remus, with love . . .

i When I think of Siri.

I think about a night.

When the earth smelled of summer

And the sky was streaked with white,

And the soft mist of England

Was sleeping on a hill-

I remember this,

And I always will... /i 

Remus Lupin had no need to take the muggle train to Godric Hollow. It would have been but a simple matter to apparate there, of course - easily and handily. But he chose to take the slower form of transportation, and he chose a car alone, closing the compartment door behind him in such a way as to discourage others from sharing it. The train was near empty, anyway, so there was little likelihood of intrusion. Which was exactly what Remus did not want - intrusion - upon either his personage or his thoughts or his feelings. He wanted this time alone, as he travelled toward his requisite destination, to contemplate - to reflect - and most of all, to remember. He leaned his head against the glass of the window, observing but not seeing the English countryside flash by, for already his thoughts were far away and long ago...

"Sirius! Sir-ius! Come back here this instant!" Remus hissed at his boyfriend, even as he followed closely behind his laughing form as he bolted out of the cottage in the woods where their other friends were joyously celebrating the newly announced engagement of James Potter and Lily Evans. Champagne had been served all around, and Remus' head was spinning from it, for he didn't often indulge himself in such a fashion, but the occasion was too special to consider doing otherwise than drinking to the happy couple's health - again and again and again... He had actually been rather comfortably ensconced beside Sirius, their legs touching intimately, the warmth of their bodies commingling in contentment, as laughter and gaiety were the order of the day, when suddenly the animated animagus had sprung up, and disappeared through the door without a word. Remus hot on his heels, of course.

Sirius made no reply to Remus' request - nay, demand. But it is hard to sound demanding when you are attempting to refrain from upchucking, and using your breath sparingly, for Sirius had emerged from the glade where the Potter cottage - future home of the happy couple, sat - and was climbing the hill which actually overlooked it. By the time that he reached the top of the hill, Sirius was already there, lying on his back in the soft grass, his hands behind his head, contemplating the night sky. Remus dropped down beside him, and it was on the tip of his tongue to berate him for his thoughtlessness and his mysteriousness and his need to rush about without so much as a by your leave - but when he saw the way that Sirius' beautiful blue eyes were reflected in the starlight above them, he looked so lovely that Remus just didn't have the heart. So he lay on his stomach, admiring the view - the earthly view that is - while Sirius contemplated the stars.

"I knew this would happen," Sirius intoned prophetically, as he moved his hand out into space, tracing the patterns of the stars with one long patrician finger.

"Knew what would happen?" Remus asked with bemusement. "Knew that I would follow you out here? You're rather cheeky, aren't you?"

Sirius chuckled, turning his head to regard his lover, his long raven tresses flowing out on the ground about him. "Yes, I am," he said, "but I meant James and Lily actually. Getting married. I saw it coming a long time ago..."

"We all saw it coming a long time ago," Remus replied, shaking his head, "don't think you have special powers of divination or anything, cause you don't. You damn near flunked that class, if you'll recall."

"The teacher didn't know what she was doing," Sirius said with equanimity, not taken aback in the least by his words. "And furthermore, I know that James and Lily are going to have a baby."

"A baby you say? All right, o wise and noble seer, tell me what that baby will be, and when it will be born..."

Sirius closed his eyes, muttering what sound like strange incantations beneath his breath as he communed with the stars above him. Remus rolled his eyes at his overly dramatic performance. His long body began to shake and twitch, his limbs flinging themselves loosely about, as if he were convulsing, but Remus wasn't fazed by this. He'd seen actual convulsions during the time he'd spent in the school infirmary over the years, on a monthly basis, and that wasn't it. This was an obvious put-on, so he showed no concern as he waited for the charlatan to speak.

"It will be born..."Sirius began to prophesy at last, "next year..."

"Bloody genius, you are," Remus muttered.

SIrius ignored him, continuing, "in the late summer...July...maybe August...and it will be a boy..." He opened his eyes, and gave Remus a look which indicated that perhaps he was expecting applause.

Remus was looking deeply into Sirius' eyes, as if he could read the contents of his very soul - and he could, he'd always been able to tell what the other boy was thinking. Well, almost always. He hadn't realized when Sirius had fallen in love with him, as he had fallen in love with Sirius, but that was basically because Remus Lupin felt himself unworthy of being loved, especially by someone as special as Sirius Black. Now he simply knew better. And what he saw made him smile. "James and Lily are pregnant, aren't they?"

Sirius nodded.

"And she told you when the baby was to be born?"

Another nod.

"When?"

"When you were in the loo," Sirius responded with a grin.

"Cheeky sod," Remus mumbled, as without warning he rolled himself onto Sirius and began to kiss him. Warm tongue against warm tongue, breaths which began with one and continued to the other as if they were performing their own particular brand of osmosis - a symbiosis of the soul, as it were. Lips which worshipped and adored as they wordlessly passed messages of love back and forth between them.

Hands reached out and pushed back clothing, with a feverish urgency that grew within them both and would not be satisfied until they were both starkers there upon the ground. Naked beneath the stars - from a distance they appeared to be one rather large silhouette upon the brow of the hill.

"Remy, I need you," Sirius moaned, as he pressed his warm flesh against his lover's. "Please...please...make love to me..." He wrapped his strong legs about Remus' waist, as his wolf slid inside of him, so that now they were united once more - two bodies with but a single heart and soul.

For a moment neither one moved, content to be thus conjoined. In the distance, a dog howled, and then an answering howl could be heard. Below them they could both discern the faint sounds of music and laughter, but they never paused to wonder if they were being missed. Their friends knew them too well for that.

Remus twined his fingers within Sirius' long elegant digits, pushing his hands above his head as he began to move inside of him. Sirius responded by raising his hips to meet Remus' thrusts, and soon they were in sync with one another, within the rhythms of their familiar dance.

Few people realized that Remus was the alpha in their relationship, not even their friends understood it, for Sirius was the flambouyant one, the charmer, the one who was out there, loud and boisterous and mischievous, while Remus was quiet and softspoken and tended to blend in with the background as much as possible. But beneath that calm exterior, there was a tensile strength of incredible resiliency, and he directed every movement that the pair made. And Sirius allowed him, because his soul recognized the nature of Remus' soul, and that it was the way it was meant to be. Remus was the only one that could make Sirius take pause and consider his actions - but only if he knew beforehand what Sirius meant to do, of course, not being a mindreader. And Sirius got away with a great deal that he might not otherwise have done because Remus loved him so much, loved even the mischievous streak, although he tried to temper the cruelty which he occasionally saw, directing it otherwise. And mostly he succeeded. Except for one memorable exception, which was no longer discussed between them. But he tended to chastise him properly. And he got away with almost everything, because Remus had not the heart to truly scold him.

Remus reached down and took those sensual lips into his, drawing Sirius' lower lip into his mouth and sucking on it, as he took in all the sensations of the world about them. The damp grass beneath their naked bodies The cool breeze that blew over their fevered flesh. The starlit night that surrounded them, bathing them in its surreal light. Memories etched into his brain forevermore. Along with his love for the boy in his arms.

Rising higher and higher now, their dance proceeding according to the unwritten movements choreographed into their brains, an intricate pas which they both followed to the letter, each step answered by its corresponding step by the other - flawless in its execution. Searing passions flaming between them, words replaced by moans and groans - the fuse had been lit, it was now merely a matter of time until it was detonated.

And when the explosion occurred, they melded together in the heat of their surrender, one unto the other, the world around them receding into another more glorious world where only they existed, as their passions poured from one to the other, their bodies quivering ecstactically until spent, they collapsed together upon the grass, panting, sated, complete. . .

They wrapped themselves about one another then and fell asleep, never moving again until the first morning light gently shook them awake...

i There are new lovers now

On the same silent hill,

Looking on the same blue sea,

And I know Siri and I are a part of them all,

And they're all a part of Sirius and me. /i 

The walk from the station was a quiet one, albeit scenic, for Godric's Hollow was a quiet sleepy place, nestled far from the maddening crowd, in a beautiful pastoral setting - it should have been a safe haven for the Potter family, James and Lily and Harry, as Albus had wished it to be when he sent them there, but it hadn't been. What it was was the final haven for the two friends whose lives he'd shared so many years ago now, among whom he had grown up, among whom he had learned the true meaning of friendship and loyalty, and whom he still loved now even as he did then - with a fierce ache that refused to die. So young they had died, far too young. There were days when he wished he could have died in their place, the loss would have been less. But such was the way of war - it questioned not the ages of those whose lives it took. Cared not for their goodness or value in the world - war was ever an equal opportunity killer.

Just on the outskirts of the village, he came upon the cottage where they had hidden away, where they had been sent after the prophecy had been discovered and discerned. And only their secret keeper had known where they were hidden - which was as it was meant to be. But not quite the way it worked out. It had all been so tangled, so very very tangled - with misinformation feeding mistrust and miscommunication - and pain and heartache on all sides - until the last act had been played out, the curtain rung down, leaving a very confused and heartsore lycanthrope to try to make sense of what remained.

Beside the cottage was a hill - this hill where James and Lily lay together, always together now, at the crest. Remus brushed aside a lock of the graying hair which fell across his eyes - or was he wiping at tears? Hard to say. Glancing up toward their markers, he spotted a pair of young people - a boy and a girl. The boy was chasing the girl, and they had just hove into view, stopping not far from the headstones, seemingly unaware of their presence, or of the middle-aged man who stood below them. The boy caught the girl about the waist with one hand, softly brushed her cheek with the other, and the two of them stood transfixed for a moment, before they came together in a tender kiss. Remus had to smile, in spite of himself, even as the tears began to flow. As well as the memories.

i Hello young lovers, whoever you are,

I hope your troubles are few.

All my good wishes go with you tonight,

I've been in love like you.

Be brave, young lovers, and follow your star,

Be brave and faithful and true,

Cling very close to each other tonight-

I've been in love like you. /i 

The years between the murder of James and Lily and Remus' return to Hogwarts as a professor had been fraught with great pain and anxiety for the werewolf. In one fell swoop he had lost three friends - or so he'd thought - and a fourth, who was much more than a friend, the one whom he loved with all his heart, beyond all measure, his Sirius had been taken from him, accused of heinous crimes beyond the power of his mind to fathom and thrown without trial or recourse into the hellhole that was Azkaban. He could gain no access to him, no matter how he tried, no matter how loud he screamed - he had no rights himself, he was a registered lycanthrope, after all, and what he wanted did not matter. Albus attempted, on his behalf, but even the headmaster was able to make no headway. He too believed in Sirius' innocence but there was nothing they could do. Nothing but wait, and pray that Sirius would be able to hold onto something of himself in that place where everyone who passed through its portals as a prisoner came out differently than they had gone in. For twelve years Remus wandered a lonely path, taking what jobs he could find, unable to access the funds which had once been at his fingertips - for of course these had been seized along with Sirius. And every night he cried for his lover, cried for what he must be enduring, and cried at their separation, which tore him apart, laid bare his soul on a regular basis, and it was all he could do to maintain his own level of sanity. Albus' offer of employment was a godsend indeed for he was at his wit's end, and more and more he found the thought of death enticing... Only Sirius' continued presence in this world kept him from ending his, for even if there were only a miniscule chance that they could be reunited in this lifetime, Remus was not about to waste it by removing himself from it prematurely.

That year brought so many things, not least of which was Sirius - his escape, his miraculous escape from the prison he had been so arbitrarily thrust into - and his redemption when it was shown that Peter Pettigrew was indeed alive, and that he had been the one to commit the murders which Sirius had been condemned for. Unfortunately, that could not be completely proven in order to establish his innocence, for the rat had escaped once more, and Sirius was caught and sentenced to the Dementor's Kiss - had it not been for Harry and Hermione and Buckbeak he would have been lost. But James' and Lily's son had risen to the occasion and saved him. It had gladdened Remus' weary heart to see his lover again, even for the brief time which they shared within the Shrieking Shack. And all too soon he was gone again. But at least he was alive. And Remus was once more upon the road, after tendering his resignation in the wake of being outed to the indignant parents, leaving Hogwarts behind him for a second time.

His parents had a cottage which they never used, out upon the moors, and that is where he turned his weary feet. The cottage became Remus' retreat, his place of refuge. He stayed in touch with Albus, and through him the rest of the Order. Was he really surprised then to receive an owl from the headmaster, informing him that he was to receive a visitor, and that said visitor was to stay low there until further instructions? No, and it did not take a great deal of intuition to discern whom that visitor would be. Now all he had to do was to wait for him - for his Sirius - to return to him.

But was he his Sirius still? That had yet to be determined. They'd not had a chance to exchange more than a few words in the Shack, and that under the watchful auspices of the children, so nothing personal beyond the initial hug. Remus had no way of knowing what Sirius was thinking, or how he felt about him. Twelve years was a long time. Sirius could have found someone else - it was conceivable, even if not likely. For Remus felt that he would know it somehow, if Sirius so much as thought about touching someone else, as they had always been so closely attuned. And as for Remus himself, there was no one else but Sirius and never would be. Sirius was his mate - his one true love - and nothing would or could ever change that. But Sirius had changed - that much was obvious from even the short time they had been together. Had Azkaban eradicated his memories of Remus, among other things? Would he even remember that they had had a relationship, that they had once been lovers? Only time would tell. And so he waited. . .

He took to wandering the moors during the day and long into the night, a solitary figure, wrapped in his faded robes, which had definitely seen better days, his topaz eyes always scanning the horizon for any sign of his wayward boy. He kept his wand in one pocket, for he was ever one to be prepared. And in his other he kept his hand closed about a platinum ring - a token he had received so many years ago. A pledge to seal their love, which he was never without. And which he hoped to have placed again upon his finger, for then he would know that there was hope for them yet.

And then one day he saw the big black dog, as it came loping across the moor, baying mournfully, an otherwordly figure in the glow from the growing moon. And he felt the wolf within rejoice at the sight of its mate, even as Moony sighed, wishing their reunion would be that simple.

The dog became the man, and now there were two men who stood and regarded one another, almost shyly, as if unsure what parts they should be playing in this particular scene. Remus clucked his tongue at the ragged sight which Sirius presented - quite obviously he had received no proper attention, if anything he looked worse than he had when he'd last seen him in the Shack. And yet, conversely, Remus thought that he had never looked more beautiful.

"H'lo, Remus," Sirius said, awkwardly, shuffling his feet, as if not sure what he should do.

"Come along," Remus said, turning and leading him into the cozy cottage, a fire of welcome already lit, making no move to touch him, for he didn't want to pressure him in any way. Sirius followed silently, staying close behind Remus, as if afraid to let him from his sight. Once inside, Remus took a closer look at his lover, and he was even more alarmed at what he saw - he looked positively malnourished, and his once glossy hair lay in tangled birds' nests upon his still handsome head. He told Sirius to sit at the small table while he warmed some soup for him. He set the stone bowl before him and was alarmed to see with what alacrity he ate - as if afraid it would be taken from him if he weren't careful. But after only a few gulps of the rich vegetable soup, Sirius' shrunken stomach could not handle it and everything came right back up again, to Sirius' great mortification.

"Hush, hush," Remus reassured him, grabbing his wand and taking care of the mess on the table and on the floor. Sirius needed more than a simple wave of the wand though, as he picked up the protesting animagus and carried him into the bathroom, like a babe, holding him while he filled the tub with warm water before depositing him gently within its comforting depths. Sirius shuddered at the feel of the water against his filthy skin - layers of dirt sliding from him, and causing the bathwater to look very dark very quickly. Once the initial layers of dirty were shed, Remus removed him and refilled the tub, this time adding some emollients for his skin, and Sirius gratefully sank back into its warmth, closing his eyes and sighing. It took all of Remus' strength not to reach out to that poor wasted figure, nor cry out in horror at the once muscular body which was now reduced to mere skin and bones. And those hideous tattoos that marred his once broad chest. And yet Remus Lupin still found him to be the most beautiful man in the world, and he fled the bathroom, seeking the sanctuary of the kitchen, where he sank to his knees and sobbed. Sobbed for what was, what should have been, and what may never be, great wrenching sobs which tore at his throat, and caused his heart to swell until it was well nigh unbearable.

He was surprised to hear a splash, the pad of bare feet, as he looked up to find Sirius standing over him, swaying for a moment before he fell to his knees beside him, his own tears adding to the wetness of his body. "Remus, I'm sorry," he cried, "please don't...it's all my fault...everything...I should have told you..."

"No, Sirius, don't," Remus cried, "I'm sorry, for failing you, for not saving you, for not taking you out of that hellhole, for being a weak miserable excuse of a werewolf..." Blindly Remus reached out, impulsively, opening his arms, and Sirius didn't hesitate to allow himself to be enveloped within Remus' protective grasp. And now they were rocking together, Remus was cooing softly, gently, and Sirius was pressed close against his heart, as he worked to still his trembling.

"My baby," he moaned, "my poor baby...What have they done to you?"

Sirius clung tightly to Remus, whispering words of regret in a voice that was obviously little used, almost a rasp. "Forgive me, Remus, I wasn't sure...if you would even want me to be here, much less...anything else...I was afraid ...to hope...that maybe ..." His words were choked off by a lowpitched wail. But Remus understood exactly what he'd been about to say.

"SIrius, I've never stopped loving you," he said, tilting his head toward him, his topaz eyes locking upon the midnight blue of the other. And somehow their lips found one another, and years of loneliness and unhappiness melted away, as two hearts became as one once more.

Finally they were forced to come up for air, both panting softly. Remus cradled Sirius against him, as he carried him into his bedroom - their bedroom, now - laying him gently beneath the blankets. Divesting himself of his own clothing, he joined him, as their bare flesh was reunited, holding, cuddling and simply clinging to one another without speaking for the rest of that night. . . everything else could wait. . .

i I know how it feels to have wings on your heels,

And to fly down the street in a trance.

You fly down a street on the chance that you meet,

And you meet-not really by chance.

Don't cry young lovers, whatever you do,

Don't cry because I'm alone;

All of my memories are happy tonight,

I've had a love of my own,

I've had a love of my own, like yours-

I've had a love of my own. /i 

The young couple ran off again - the chase was resumed, and Remus watched them for a moment, until they were lost from view, before making his solitary trek up the hill. There were James' and Lily's markers - unchanged in all the years that he'd been visiting them. And beside them was the new one, still pristine in its newness, as if not yet accustomed to its surroundings. Remus sank to his knees before this one, for every time he saw it, it brought home the reality of what had happened, although his heart refused to acknowledge it. He was gone - forever, this time. And not until Remus' own days upon this earth were spent would they be reunited once more.

Their last night together - although neither had realized it at the time - was spent tangled together in their room, making love until the wee hours of the morning. Whispers and promises and plans for the future. They were going to tell Harry about them, and they were going to provide a real home for him, a new family. And give him the love he should always have had, what was denied him. They were going to get rid of the musty old house, buy something better - out in the country, where Sirius wouldn't feel so cooped up, and where he would be able to see the sky all the time. And they would be married. Sirius promised him that when he returned the ring to his finger and proposed all over again, on bended knee.

Remus' tears flowed at the memory, even as he touched the beautiful ring that sat upon his finger once again, never to be removed. He bowed his graying head, giving way to his feelings - all their dreams shattered - dissipated with one careless moment, one simple hex. He should have been watching out for him more closely, he knew how reckless his puppy was, and he knew how badly he wanted to be a part of things, to do his part for the fight. Damn Snape for making him feel so useless that he needed to prove himself, and foolishly so. He should have been at his side, he could have reached for him, kept him from falling...

Oh Merlin, why didn't he just die right here and now, his soul and his heart were already there, with Sirius. Of course there was no body within the grave, they had not been able to retrieve that. It was just a memorial of the man himself... Remus couldn't bear it - he threw himself onto the grass before the marker, feeling the world go black...

The blackness was pierced by a blinding white light, whiter and more brilliant than any Remus had ever seen in his life. He held one hand up to shade himself from its brilliance, and as his eyes adjusted, he looked around in confusion. "Remus..." he heard from behind him, and when he turned, trembling, thinking he must surely be going mad, for he knew that voice - there he stood, there was his Sirius - just as beautiful and vibrant as he'd always been.

Sirius held out his arms and Remus hurled himself at him with an incoherent cry. "Siri, Siri, oh merlin, I've missed you..."

Their lips met, warmly, searingly, familiarly, and for a moment there was nothing spoken, before Sirius broke the kiss gently.

"Remus, my love, please don't cry for me..."

"I can't help it," the lycanthrope whimpered, "I need you Sirius, I don't want to go on without you, I can't go on without you..."

"But you have to," Sirius told him, stroking his cheek and gazing deeply into those amber eyes. "You are all that Harry has left now..."

"But Sirius," Remus protested, the tears to flow once more, "let me stay here, I want to stay here with you, always..."

"You will," Sirius promised, "didn't I tell you that we'd always be together? But not yet, love, not yet..."

It wasn't fair, it wasn't fair, it wasn't fair, Remus' heart complained selfishly. They had waited so long for this, they deserved to be together. They had been cheated out of their time, and he wanted it back. Sirius stroked the lycanthrope's back softly. "You may join me once Harry has done what he needs to do. You must be there for him, until then, and then you may join me. I'll be waiting for you, Remy. And until then, I'll be with you - in spirit, anyway."

They wrapped their arms about one another, clinging tightly. "Protect him, Remy," Sirius whispered, "and I'll do my best to protect you both. Not long now, just another couple of years. And then we'll have the rest of time together... I promise..."

Remus raised a tear-stained face to his lover. "All right," he said at last, "I'll hold out until then, and I'll watch over Harry..."

"Good,"Sirius smiled, "oh, and be gentle with Tonks, she means well, but she is having her own rough patch, you know? Just don't take what she tells you seriously, she doesn't mean it."

"I won't," Remus sniffled, having no idea what his lover meant, but right this minute it didn't matter.

"I love you, Remy," Sirius whispered, his voice growing fainter. Remus looked at him in distress, but the image was fading as well. Desperately he clung to him, but it was no avail, he was slipping from his fingers...

"Love you, Siri," he whispered...

... as he felt a hand upon his shoulder, shaking it firmly.

"Professor Lupin... Remus... are you all right?"

Remus raised his head from its grassy bed, focusing his eyes as he tried to take in his surroundings. Harry was knelt beside him, a look of concern on his young face. Behind him was Tonks, also looking worried. He smiled at them both, as he rose, brushing off the grass from his robes.

"Sorry, I must have fallen asleep," he apologized. "I didn't know you were coming up today, Harry, Tonks?"

"We were worried about you Remus, when you left the house," Tonks said, "it just took us a while to figure out where you were. Should have guessed though..." She broke off, her eyes filling with tears themselves.

"Remus, I heard you saying Sirius' name, as if you were speaking to him," Harry said confusedly. "Were you dreaming of him?"

"Yes, I was," Remus replied, " a very beautiful dream, Harry." He touched the ring again, gaining strength from its presence. "I have something I want to talk to you about, we can discuss it on the train ride back. You too, Tonks..."

"Is it bad?" Harry frowned. He'd gotten enough bad news in his young life, he dreaded hearing more.

"No, it's not bad at all. It's a beautiful story, actually, about two people who love one another very much, and whose love will never die." He squeezed Harry's hand reassuringly, as he helped him up as well.

And when they were settled in the train, as it pulled out of the Godric Hollow station, Remus began.

"Once upon a time there was a beautiful young boy, and his name was Sirius Black..."


End file.
